At the moment my life consists of many billions of tomatoes and my inability to process The Federalist Papers. I have about fifty essays by Hamilton, Jay, and Madison to read and I picked many thousands of tomatoes this morning because apparently if it rains too much they split open. Stupid plant.
Friday
Thursday
mine eyes have seen the glory...
In a possibly recent article by Peter Kreeft that appeared in Crisis he was enumerating the dangers and evils present in the world crisis and national culture war. After explaining that much of the damage comes from America through Hollywood's influence, he said: "Do you know what the Muslims call us? They call us "The Great Satan". And do you know what I call them? I call them right." Well, Mr. Kreeft, the correct answer would have been more along them lines of "hypocrits" or "morally dubious", but now you force me to call you a liar or a lunatic.
America's "The Great Satan" in the present crisis, is she? If you truly believe that kind of diabolically inspired muck, here's some free advice. (The only kind I'm at present authorized to give.) Open your eyes. Look to the north, to the south, the east, the west. Tell me then you don't see evil blooming in the fertile ground of, well, everywhere.
In Canada, a priest can be arrested and thrown into jail for preaching the Church's teaching on homosexuality from the pulpit. In Mexico the rich beome fewer and richer and the poor become legion and more desperate than ever, as their government further decays in its rotting nest of corruption. In Europe the only places as empty as the churches are the nurseries, and the only places as full as the bars and brothels are the mosques. In the Middle East terrorism is openly endorsed and encouraged, women are bundled away and killed if they cry out against their husbands for beating them. Little girls are forced into marriage with lecherous old men, men who know only how to destroy plot to kill every last Jew on the face of the earth, and you, poor fool, call America the Great Satan? America is the only country left who is even making an attempt to combat these hooded cowards who make it their practice to kidnap innocent civilians and brutally behead them. Just like America was the only country to make any serious effort to make the Soviet Union a frightening chapter of history.
Great Satan? Have you ever read a history of the Soviet Union? Do you recall the mention of mass murder, mass starvation, and mass terror that was daily life there? Have you had the time to glance at North Korea, Cuba, or China and see that the same awful truth holds sway there? They are starving in North Korea, afraid to speak even to friends in Cuba, and if you try to google Tiananmen Square in China, the police will trace your computer and arrest you.
America is more influential, sure. She suffers from a terrible rash of moral evils. As a force for good, America is rather like a half blind, half retarded child: blundering into walls, crushing things and sometimes people underfoot, clumsy--but strong. The fact remains, as diseased as our culture is, and as ineffectual as we sometimes are, we are still the most potent force for good of all the nations in the world. The American people are a good people, and even in our bureacratic, bumbling government there are trualy good people. Scoff if you will, fool, but George Bush is a good man. Evil will be always with us, but in my country, I can so something about it. The ban on partial birth abortion should have made that much clear.
So instead of taking cues from murdering knaves and making use of puerile thought processes, how about we pay attention to what's in front of our eyes?
Tuesday
Radio Plays
Hey, I'm Nightwing! That's pretty cool.
Recently I found a website that produces radio plays. They have two ongoing series: Black Jack Justice, and the Red Panda Adventures. I put them on my mp3 player to listen to while spraying TAC grounds with herbicide. I find them amusing. They're all free to download, so if you're interested, go to Decoder Ring Theatre.
Sunday
little green dots
The green dots on the back of the quarterback's helmets is too weird. And I have my doubts as regards whether Brian Urlacher is actually human.
New England 38, Buffalo 7. But did we expect anything different?
I took the DC superhero quiz and found out that I'm the Green Lantern. Thoughts, anyone? I don't even know who that is...
Saturday
I said "Play on!" you rotten LUNATIC!!!!!
I hate coaches. I really do.
What, did you think you're team signed up to play croquet? Did you think that if they trip and fall over themselves I'm supposed call a foul on the opposite team? Or maybe you would like me to card the grass, since it really shouldn't be getting in the way. Or maybe I should should call the player for being stupid and tripping over his own shoe laces. I don't know, what do you think?
WHY do you think I have the whistle, you blithering idiot? Because I took the course and studied the rules and was given a badge! Deal with it! Maybe I'll give you a FIFA rule book so you can there actually is no rule against playing physically. There is no personal space in soccer, you pansy!
I have the power to card you and drag your sorry self off the field, so don't push it. Because after today, I'm not taking anything anymore. You want to yell at me, I'll yell at you. You don't get to tell me what to do, I get to tell YOU what to do.
For all of those who don't watch soccer, look. Players are allowed to lean into another player, they are allowed to slide tackle, and if the goalie comes out to dive on the ball it's not the forward's fault if the goalie gets tapped on the face.
IT'S SOCCER, for PETE's SAKE!!!!!!!!!!!! Go join the English Tea Club if you can't take it. Leave, in any case.
Reverse-Temporal Messaging
So me and my roommate Tim perpetrated the most awesome prank ever a few days ago.
Roisin Bulger checked her email on Tim's computer and forgot to sign out. So Tim began sending messages to Roisin. From herself. From the future. Roisin is the most gullible person I have ever met or heard of, and she fell for it completely, especially after reading the Wikipedia article on how this is a rather common occurrence. I'd written the article, entitled "reverse-temporal messaging" explaining how 50 or so years from now, Dr. Bulger will invent this process using Tachyon particles, and begin sending messages to her past self. It was my finest hour.
The best part was her freaking out so much that she had to sit down, exclaiming, "This is SO freaked out. How did I do this? Dr. Bulger!? I'm not even very good at math!" Stephen and our compatriots played along beautifully too, impressed by her hidden (future) talents in theoretical physics.
I'm a very bad man.
And no, the Wikipedia article was taken down. :(
Thursday
do a little dance!
So this afternoon I arrive home from a soccer game (where we left the opposing team exhausted and gloriously defeated) and what do I see waiting for me on the chair in the living room?
A manila envelope.
Addressed to me.
First Class priority. Return Address: very simple. The White House.
YEEEEEAhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Me and George Bush. We be pen pals.
Well, not exactly, but I wrote him a while back and told him that I was praying for him and that I respected his integrity and apparent disregard for political expediency when opposed to his beliefs and values and that I respected him all the more in light of the media's wanton puerile behavior toward him. Etc, etc.
So he wrote back, said thank you, asked me to keep praying, said some other cool stuff about prayer and sent a picture of himself and Mrs. Bush in which he is beaming cheekily and she is looking slightly manic. Probably the six hundredth picture taken by an irritating photographer. But isn't that so cool? I feel like I should frame everything, envelope, letter and picture. I'm almost famous!
Wednesday
MUSE II
So I didn't really get to finish my thoughts yesterday and must continue.
I can't truly describe the whole experience because it's something you have to go do...can't just hear about it. Esther said they're rated one of the top five bands in the world to see live, and after seeing them...it's glaringly obvious why.
It had its more amusing moments: during Supermassive Black Hole the screens behind the stage were showing all these robots marching around, and there was this one robot that would pop up every now and then and "get low", start gyrating around, it was the funniest thing. There was the song (one from Black Holes and Revelations, can't remember the name) where everyone was told to hold up their cell phones and sway. It's the world we live in...every person in the crowd held up his or her small but brightly lit indispensible. The effect was actually quite beautiful.
Time is Running Out was the climax, which as Esther said, was nice because it's such a classic. Starlight was a big deal, but Time is Running Out had more lights and was the one where Matt actually stopped singing to see if the crowd would keep going...and man did they ever.
It was very loud. =)
In fact, it was so loud that if you sat down and leaned against your seat, your throat and vocal chords would be vibrating from the bass. Interesting and possibly cool, but also a little creepy. I elected to stand pretty much the whole time. I was bouncing and jumping around so much that I wore the skin off the balls of my feet. Trust me, that's not nearly as bad as it sounds, this happens with my toes because of soccer. Still--was a little weird peeling off great flaps of skin when I got home. But I didn't mind.
There was some political oddity at the end, but again, I didn't care. It was an oddity, simply put. And I have to say, hearing JFK's voice come out of nowhere is enough to give the faint of heart cardiac arrest. Honestly, that man had the most unfortunate speaking voice in the history of the Presidency.
And I got a shirt!!!!!!!!
For whatever reason, Feelin' Good was the most memorable song for me in the whole thing. It's now become one of my favorites of theirs.
I want to go again! But I guess I should keep busy thanking God for being able to go at all; could be a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Tuesday
MUSE!!!
Yes. I went to see MUSE a week ago and forgot to post something. It can happen to the best of us.
Sad to say, I don't remember much now. It's all kind of a blur, but what a blur! It was such a well done show. Bellamy didn't say much during the whole thing; "hello Portland" and "goodbye Portland". The drummer said more than he did. It was pretty much a nonstop rush, seamlessly flowing from one song to the next.
The piano was outlined in neon, with a glow in the dark keyboard. It was a grand piano, so you could see the strings, which were rigged up so that every time the hammer hit one, it would light up. Pretty snazzy.
Needless to say there was screaming galore; I became quite hoarse. They opened up with Knights of Cydonia and played most of Black Holes and Revelations...a lot of Absolution, too. Butterflies and Hurricanes was amazing, he prolonged the piano solo by like a minute and a half. And (possibly my favorite moment) someone tossed him a megaphone during Feelin' Good and he USED IT!!! Fun times.
But I must leave.
Sad to say, I don't remember much now. It's all kind of a blur, but what a blur! It was such a well done show. Bellamy didn't say much during the whole thing; "hello Portland" and "goodbye Portland". The drummer said more than he did. It was pretty much a nonstop rush, seamlessly flowing from one song to the next.
The piano was outlined in neon, with a glow in the dark keyboard. It was a grand piano, so you could see the strings, which were rigged up so that every time the hammer hit one, it would light up. Pretty snazzy.
Needless to say there was screaming galore; I became quite hoarse. They opened up with Knights of Cydonia and played most of Black Holes and Revelations...a lot of Absolution, too. Butterflies and Hurricanes was amazing, he prolonged the piano solo by like a minute and a half. And (possibly my favorite moment) someone tossed him a megaphone during Feelin' Good and he USED IT!!! Fun times.
But I must leave.
Monday
Happy Constitution Day!
Yes, I think it's a total crackup that Esther's birthday is on Constitution Day. Sort of a nudge from God, Est? Maybe? Happy Birthday.
Speaking of Esther, I completely forgot that Edward Norton is in the Italian Job. Which I just watched; a frankly weird looking guy walks onto the screen and I think to myself...he looks oddly familiar. Wait! It's Ed Norton! How strange. Safe to say he didn't look his best in that particular flick. Good flick, though.
Have to say, considering all the heat Bill Belichek has been taking this past week for stationing a guy with a camera on the sideline when everyone else secretes them in the crowd, I was blown away by the Patriots' performance yesterday. Kind of like they just wanted to come out and say "We don't win games because we know the opponents defensive playcalls. We win because our coach is the best in NFL history, no power in the 'verse can break through our O line, and our quarterback is younger than Bret Favre, calmer than Peyton Manning, and better than both of them. We win because we are the Patriots, we are championship material." Watching them tear apart San Diego, supposedly one of their challengers this season, I have to say I believe them. They're going to the Super Bowl, baby.
On the other hand, I need to post on the MUSE concert. Maybe tomorrow.
And I assume its Ben that's messing around with the format on this thing. I don't know how it works. So, if mess you must, I like this one fine.
Tuesday
Sunday
Glory Days
So my Patriots performed satisfactorily, to say the least. I am reconciled entirely with Randy Moss being on the team. And the offensive line was unreal. Completely unreal. How many quarterbacks get five or six seconds to make a play? And when your QB is TB, well. What can I say. Only I don't get the point of those green dots on the quarterbacks' helmets. What's all that about?
Monday
200th post!
Recently I have been hearing a certain volume of complaints about our actions regarding Afghanistan when we were financing their freedom fighters to oust the Soviet Union. (My apologies to certain other readers...I have gotten complaints on my posts that involve communists) Word on the street is that we (America) inadvertantly and quite stupidly created the Taliban even as we destroyed the USSR. Which in some people's opinion was no improvement for us.
Well, it wasn't much of an improvement for the Afghans, that's for sure. But it was an improvement for our country and most of Eastern Europe (well. let's admit it. the world) Defeating the Soviet Union was an objective that lay in the best interest of every man, woman, and child on the planet. The Taliban and Osama bin Laden presented a threat to human dignity too, within their region. But what frustrates me is that the money we sent to Afghanistan was primarily to the fine looking fellow you see above, not to Osama bin Chicken. Yes, chicken. The man never went so far as to throw a rock at the sky when Sputnik raced overhead. He had no problem posing next to tanks said fine looking fellow (Ahmad Shah Masoud) blew up. But we sent our funds to Masoud and continued to do so after the Taliban filled the power void. His Northern Alliance was pro-American and rather helpful before, during, and after we invaded Afghanistan in 2001.
What's more, Americans who went to fight the Soviets in Afghanistan often underwent a religious conversion. Accompanying men who fearlessly chase helicopters on foot, firing RPG's and yelling "Allahu Ackbar" must be quite the experience. They didn't convert to Islam, either; just rediscovered their Christian (often Catholic) past in the company of these on fire Muslims. Which is why I think the Afghanistan campaign was so important. Besides the stirring effect of defeating the Soviets for the first time in decades (as an actor, Reagan no doubt recognized the necessity of this dramtic action), that war united Muslims and Christians in a common war against the atheistic Communists. We finally had reason to unite: our shared belief in one God.
In today's climate of intense Islamic hostility towards Christians, Jews, Americans-well...anything that isn't Muslim and moves-I see fewer and fewer reasons to disparage our involvement there and more and more reasons to bring it back up and remember it. Masoud is, lamentably, dead, but I do think it's possible that another Islamic leader may be motivated as he was and ally (truly ally, not Saudi style) himself with America even though popular opinion is against it. Who knows. Stranger things have happened.
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