Hm. Figure Skating.

When I was little, I didn't like the Summer Olympics because there wasn't any figure skating involved. I loved figure skating. I loved having a favorite and singing his or her praises while uttering bitter invectives against the offending opponents' programs/costumes/choice of music. It was awesome.

And then I realized that Figure Skating is, by and large, really boring. During the last Olympics I was interested enough to want the Rusky to win the men's competition, but that was only because he skated fast and hard, and jumped very high. All the other men I saw skated slowly and emotionally and oh so very tediously.

Last night was the US Figure Skating Championships and I watched, mainly for old time's sake. Then, slowly, reluctantly, I got sucked in. I was primarily interested in the rivalry between the effeminately appalling Johnny Weir and the tall, dark, and handsome Evan Lysacek. (Lysacek also happens to be unexpectedly masculine. If I hadn't just seen him zooming around the rink, I would never peg him as an ice skater.) It was pretty cool, because they ended up with the exact same score at the end of the night, but because Lysacek's long program was better (soooooo much better...but hey, I'm not a judge. I only have the faintest idea of what they're doing out there.) he won!

His voice is at least a fifth lower than Weir's. He also did not have jewels on his clothing. He also did not burst into tears at the end of his program. He yelled something, possibly "Huzzah!" , punched an imaginary something (Weir, possibly?), and left. I was extremely pleased. As far as I'm concerned, if the men must skate, they should spin really fast, jump really high (quads, quads, quads), have exciting footwork, and at least some degree of composure. That's all I ask.

So, yes, I'll probably end up watching the exhibition on Saturday...is this all because I've been deprived of football for a week, I wonder?